Journey to Islam

An argument between myself and a muslim turkish student on religion, me as an atheist totally dismissed every word said, but, during one such discussion something inside me clicked and i really started to listen. That was the turning point 5 years ago, a few nights after this conversation i had the strangest and most amazing experience whilst trying to sleep. I felt a wave of love flow over me and through me, cant really explain but after that i was totally 100% convinced the was a god and Islam was the religion for me. Said my shahada with a friend in a masjid in northern cyprus and have been learning and practicing ever since.

I am on a journey. An irresistible journey. Pulled and coaxed and encouraged slowly forward. Constantly I am reminded of the reason for this changed way of thinking. One moment I was facing a terrible, dark place and the next I had been turned in a new direction and shown a new path. I had thrown away everything and stood alone with nothing. A hand was given to me and I have never let go. On occasions I have faltered on this path and the changes I have made have never been easy. Always I feel like I am leaving the world I knew behind and sometimes this causes me great pain and anguish. Other times I am very happy to let things go, things that have never held my belief. The people I love I am afraid to leave behind. But I have no choice. I have to learn how to deal with all this change well. Sometimes I don’t know what to do or why I feel the way I do. And I struggle. Then I remember the love and mercy and peace I have been given so far and I need more. All the time. This is my jihad.

Certainty

Certainty

Clarity

Allah

The Beginning

The End

The Future

The Hereafter

The Journey Made

The Questions Answered

Take Courage

Give Yourself

Give Of Yourself

To Allah

The Answer

To All Our Questions

Give Certainty

A Chance

An Airing

Give In To Sanity

Say No To Shaitan

Alhamdulillah

Choose The Right Path!

I’ve been brought to my knees

Looked deeply inward to discover who I am

I’ve pulled out the madness, the sadness

Laid it out before me

Cried for the pain I suffered

Cried for the time I wasted

Now I am here alone

But I am not lonely

Only taking time to heal, to rebuild

My hands hold my heart gently

My eyes full of tears for love lost for myself

I repeat to myself, it’s ok, it’s ok, you’re ok

Breathe deeply, sigh, and lower my eyes to the floor

I have me, Allah has given back me

Better than I have ever been

Stronger than ever before

My prayers are not thanks enough

For how I feel to have another chance

The past is in that box in the cupboard

I didn’t have to wait long for it to go

It was ready to leave me

Ready to be put away and left

Now my mind is free again

The possibilities are endless! 

Here

This is where I want to be, right here, right now

There is nowhere I would rather be than right now, right here

Here is…

Here just is…

Everything around me is right here and right now



Everything stopped

Everything came to an abrupt full stop

Teetering on the edge, I nearly slipped

Everything I knew disappeared, dissolving away like a fading dream

I reached, but out to what?



Reality slipped through my fingers

Faster, faster, rushing away, escaping from me

I was left with one thing…

ALLAH, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful

And a choice was put in front of me.

Now I am here

And I can smile, I took the right path

The dark veil was lifted from my eyes and I saw LIFE

I am RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW

Praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds.